There is a kind of meeting that looks perfectly healthy from the outside. The agenda moves. People are polite. Questions are answered. No one disagrees.

Then, weeks later, something goes wrong. A decision turns out not to have been agreed. A high performer resigns. A client raises an issue nobody saw coming. A project slips, and everyone realises the signs were there earlier.

There was more information in the room. It just did not become visible.

The information you get depends on what you are interested in

Ask, “How is the project going?” and you get a quick answer. “Fine.”

But if you are genuinely interested, you stay with it. “Fine” is followed by a pause. You notice it. “What makes you say fine?” Now there is somewhere to go.

Maybe the team is exhausted. Maybe the client has changed direction. Maybe someone has been quietly solving a problem that is about to grow. None of that was in the first answer. You found it because you stayed curious.

Curiosity research describes this as a gap between what we know and what we want to know. That gap keeps us looking.

In leadership, the gap is often simple: Why did they hesitate? What changed? What are they not saying? What would I see differently from their side?

The question matters because it keeps the door open.

Interest changes the questions you ask

An interested leader is not just collecting answers. They are trying to understand. That changes everything.

Someone says they are struggling with a new responsibility. You can ask, “What do you need from me?” Or you can ask, “What part is harder than expected?”

That second question often reveals something different. Not a capability issue, but unclear authority. Not confusion about the work, but a stakeholder problem. Not lack of effort, but missing context.

The problem changes shape. So does the solution.

Interest slows the jump from what happened to what I think it means. And leaders are always working with incomplete information.

We see behaviour and infer motive. Silence and infer agreement. Delay and infer carelessness.

Sometimes we are right. Sometimes, just early.

You cannot see another perspective you have not looked for

Interest also gives you access to perspective. Perspective-taking involves trying to understand another person’s viewpoint rather than relying solely on your own interpretation of their behavior. But you cannot do it while assuming you already know the answer. That becomes projection. (Parker, S. K., & Axtell, C. M., 2001)

Interest keeps you in uncertainty long enough to learn.

A senior leader stops speaking in meetings. They may be disengaged. Or they may disagree but feel unsafe to say so. Or they may be rebuilding confidence after a setback. Or they may simply be thinking.

Same behaviour. Different meaning.

Interest does not guarantee accuracy. It increases the chance you will find out before acting.

That is a leadership advantage.

The things you notice are often the things people stop saying

Important information is rarely announced. It shows up indirectly.

A shift in tone. A missed comment. A change in energy. A person who used to challenge you going quiet.

Interest makes these changes easier to see because you know what “normal” looks like. That is why interest is not just friendliness.

Friendliness is momentary. Interest accumulates.

You remember what someone was worried about. You notice when they change. You see patterns over time.

And sometimes the most important signal is not what is said. It is what has changed.

Interest has to exist when you do not need anything

This is where it often becomes transactional.

People notice when curiosity appears only under pressure. When a deadline is at risk. When a renewal is needed. When retention becomes a concern.

That is not interest. That is extraction.

Genuine interest exists before you need something. You ask when nothing is at stake. You follow up on what someone mentioned last week. You stay curious about parts of the organisation that are not immediately useful to you.

Because you want to understand.

And that matters. Research shows people tend to like those they disclose to and those who disclose to them.

But the deeper point is simpler. 

Better relationships create better information. 

And better information leads to better judgement. 

THE EXECUTIVE PRESENCE MINDSET SHIFT  
From: I show interest because people appreciate being heard, and it helps me build relationships.

To: My interest changes what I am able to see, because people reveal information that I would otherwise never have access to.

3 ways to practise this week

1. Stay with the answer that does not quite fit.
Ask one more question when something feels incomplete. “What makes you say that?”

2. Ask about the change, not just the situation.
Notice what is different in someone and ask about that shift.

3. Follow up when there is nothing to gain.
Revisit something someone mentioned earlier, even if it is not immediately relevant.

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